Flourish Health & Wellbeing Magazine - Dec23 - Flipbook - Page 47
SOME STRATEGIES TO BETTER MANAGE THE
HOLIDAY PERIOD IF YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED
A SEPARATION MAY INCLUDE;
Seeking personal support to help
manage feelings of grief, loss, sadness
or anger and ensure you have coping
strategies that you can u琀椀lise. This
is par琀椀cularly important if you are
paren琀椀ng separately and nego琀椀a琀椀ng
spending 琀椀me arrangements for
days of significance and the
holidays. If these arrangements
cause arguments or
disagreements, a conflict coach
can provide tactics to give your
discussion structure or speak with
a registered family mediator about
your holiday parenting
arrangements.
If you are trying to nego琀椀ate
arrangements with your expartner and 昀椀nding it di昀케cult, it is
helpful to approach conversa琀椀ons
from a place of wan琀椀ng to reach
mutually agreeable outcomes. If
you have children, have a photo of
your children present during your
conversa琀椀on with your ex-partner to
help maintain your focus on wan琀椀ng
what is best for the children.
Accept that you and your expartner will have di昀昀erent views and
perspec琀椀ves. It is unlikely you will see
things the same way. Rather than aim
to convince them of your view, try to
昀椀nd ways to help reach compromises
between your di昀昀ering perspec琀椀ves.
Remember that defensive behaviours
are o昀琀en a reac琀椀on to feelings of
fear. If you no琀椀ce the other person
speak or behave defensively, try
reassuring them that you are aiming
to reach a compromise and are
respec琀昀ul of their needs. This is
particularly important when talking
about spending time with children.
The holiday period is a ‘loaded’ time
of year filled with expectations,
traditions, hopes and complex
emotions. You will both want to share
this time with your children so try to
focus on finding compromises that
support you to each have quality
time with the kids.
If conversa琀椀ons become heated,
request 琀椀me to cool down before
con琀椀nuing the conversa琀椀on.
Outcomes cannot be achieved
while two people are experiencing
heightened emo琀椀ons.