Flourish Health & Wellbeing Magazine - Dec23 - Flipbook - Page 45
HERE ARE SOME TIPS FOR
MANAGING FAMILY ISSUES OVER
THE HOLIDAY PERIOD;
Rather than view the holiday period
as a chore and dread upcoming
events with your family members,
use the season as a mo琀椀vator to
seek help. You can seek individual
con昀氀ict support through a registered
mediator/media琀椀on service who will
work with you singly, or can work
more broadly with you and your
family members to address the issues.
Media琀椀on can sound in琀椀mida琀椀ng,
but it is actually a safe way to talk
about issues between you and other
individuals. Registered mediators
are impar琀椀al and do not take sides.
Their role is to support all individuals
taking part in the media琀椀on to
safely talk about the issues and
encourage mutually agreed outcomes.
If media琀椀on sounds ‘too much’,
consider 1:1 con昀氀ict coaching.
If a family member confronts you
at a gathering, you may not be sure
how to respond or manage the
situa琀椀on. If you are in the presence
of others, you can suggest speaking
in a private space (if you feel safe and
comfortable to do so). If, however,
you do not feel comfortable to
engage in a conversa琀椀on, it is
important to set your boundaries. For
example, you might thank the person
for speaking to you but state that you
do not feel comfortable to have the
conversa琀椀on. If the person does not
respect your request to disengage,
communicate that you will need to
remove yourself from the situation
and find a safe space to regroup
either by yourself or with a trusted
friend or family member.
Every situa琀椀on is di昀昀erent and
it is important not to judge your
feelings or be hard on yourself. If
seeing certain family members is
upse琀�ng but you feel you have to
a琀琀end events with them, explore
ways to help make it easier for you.
Take a trusted friend to the family
event, drive so that you can leave
if you are feeling overwhelmed or
involve yourself in other aspects of
the event. For example, you might
suggest taking the kids to the beach
to give you space from the con昀氀ict
or o昀昀er to help cook, or clean up, so
that you have a produc琀椀ve focus.
Explore ways that you can feel more
emo琀椀onally and mentally supported.
If seeing a family member is simply
too di昀케cult, be kind to yourself
and 昀椀nd ways to spend 琀椀me with
other family members without the
person present. Spending time with
loved ones on a different date to
one where a large family gathering
is already booked, for example,
might support you to be with those
you love, while avoiding feeling
obligated to be in the company of a
person you simply cannot face.
If you can’t avoid being in the same
place as the person you struggle
with, work with the hosts to engineer
a sea琀椀ng arrangement to minimise
interac琀椀on. You can simply do polite
hellos and good-byes and aim to
leave it at that to minimise a scene or
drama for you and all.